Surviving Bipolar Disorders

In 2018, I got married and had my registration of marriage on Valentine’s Day.

Later that year, I became stressful with my consulting career and I resigned without a backup plan. I became even more stressful and regretful at the same time. I then lost my mind to bipolar disorders and I committed adultery and got caught doing so. My wife insisted a divorce and since my divorce my bipolar disorders became even worst off.

I went back to Penang (my hometown) after my divorce and my bipolar disorders didn’t get any better. In fact, it worsen and I was suicidal and went to Komtar (Penang highest building) contemplating to jump off the building and end my life. Luckily I thought of my parents and stopped myself from jumping off.

I also find troubles with my friends, colleagues and ex-bosses. Some example of what I did was i told my ex-boss I’m going to buy their firm off. I also told my friends I’m enlightened and became a Buddha and I demand to be called Khin Rinpoche or Kakyn Rinpoche.

It was until my friends complained to my mom about my behavior that my mom send me to Psychiatric ward in Jalan Perak, Penang. There I stayed for 2 months (May and June 2020) and received 15 electroconvulsive therapies (ECT). My memory got lost after my ECT until I don’t even remember my Wifi password after the ECT. But after my ECT my consciousness come back and I was shocked when I looked back my messages to my friends, relatives, course-mates, colleagues and bosses.

Since July 2020 I have considered recovered and been taking regular medication (8 pills a day, seroquel and lithium) and an injection every month. I consider myself surviving bipolar disorders.

I hope everything will be better and I can stop medication soon (but doctor insists me to take medication for long term).